Being in a relationship is hard work! It’s hard for us to stay conscious when we’re triggered, and we can revert to old, learned habits. Often being close with another person confronts us with parts of ourselves that are unpleasant, or even embarrassing to have seen. Sexually we can feel stuck, blocked, or frozen with our partners. Sometimes when we get caught in seemingly intractable patterns and relational gridlocks it feels impossible to overcome them.
Relationships are the source of our greatest suffering and have the potential for our greatest healing. I use Attachment, family systems, relational and psychodynamic theories in my work with couples. Through our work together I support couples to understand destructive patterns and to find new, more effective ways to connect.
When a couple gets to the place where they can both honest about who each of them is individually with the other while also remaining open to hearing who the other person is, it can be profoundly liberating. The assumptions and limiting beliefs that we have unconsciously carried into the dynamic are able to finally be refuted and we can take in the other person’s love. There is nothing more gratifying and bonding than the moment when a couple is able to look into each other’s eyes and say: “I understand your pain. I love you as you are. I want to support you.” That moment of giving and receiving can change the whole foundation of a relationship that may have struggled for years or even been close to collapsing. I look forward to working with you and your partner to find the capacity to be yourself fully and authentically and still have the safety your heart longs for.